Why I risked quitting my job in the middle of a pandemic
Hello world. This is my first publication online, so I’ll share a bit of my story — how I got here, and what I’m doing about it.
As a millennial, I was raised by parents using the ‘try it out’ method. I was encouraged to try on as many hobbies as I liked, explore as many subjects as I could, until something hopefully stuck. Perhaps this would become my purpose, my guiding star for a university major and a job and a life. Quite a lot of pressure for a grade-schooler to determine their direction before turning 18, if you ask me.
Like most of us, I didn’t have a particular ‘calling’ — I was good at math, and was guided towards engineering in college. Recited to me by peers, guidance counselors, and parents alike was this formula: achieve good grades, get into a reputable college, select a ‘high paying’ major, and then you’d be guaranteed a full-time job. End of formula. 9-to-5 Job = Success. I never really wondered what came next until I actually got there.
Fast forward to 4 years of full-time work out of college; my first job as an engineer at a large corporation, and the next as a consultant at a small firm. Neither made my heart sing. I felt lost, lacking clarity on why I was doing what I was doing and lacking meaning in my days. I’m supposed to do this for 30 more years? I wondered.
It took over 4 years of dissatisfaction for me to intentionally jump off the moving train for which I mindlessly bought a ticket. For others, it can take much longer.
I quit my job 3 months ago, and have zero regrets. I was afraid of waking up at 45, still on the train I was told was the shiniest, best train, going in a direction that I didn’t intentionally choose for myself. Being able to leave my job was a privilege, and I’m so grateful that I did. I wanted to actively take time to explore what I DO like, rather than making decisions purely based on what I don’t. I needed space to breathe, to sit in my body and see what she really desires — free from the Capitalist world I felt bound to, in a work-style created by Ford in the 20s.
So it’s been 3 months of unemployment. In the middle of the pandemic and election, I am deep in self-reflection. Here’s my update, for those of you familiar with my story.
I hired a coach, recognizing that my prior methods of self-change-management hadn’t worked. I craved an outside perspective, someone to challenge me and push me to be better, to grow, to utilize this time the way I intended. To hold me accountable to my goals. I didn’t quit my job just to bake all the time. Though there has been ample baking.
In the beginning, I took ample time to better get in touch with myself. I spent my time lounging in parks, journaling, people-watching, thinking. I did personality assessments. I went to museums, did city-hikes, biked to new places. I resisted the urge to plan out my days in advance for fear of boredom or lack of productivity. I became more attuned to what I really wanted every day, what made my soul-sing, what drew my attention most often. I noticed more of my biases, questioned my held beliefs, wondered how they were impacting me. Why am I afraid of being unproductive? Why do I equate money-making with success? Why do I compare my career progression with my peers?
Addressing these fears and beliefs has been extremely freeing and worth the job-quitting in itself. Taking more time to reflect, learn, and actively choose to modify my perspectives is now a recurring part of my weeks.
So have I found the career clarity I was seeking? I think that I have. I now believe that there isn’t one right answer— but we can allow ourselves to feel confident in our decisions. The coincidence of it all is that I’m currently excited about pursuing Coaching as my next adventure; I’ve found that my passions and skills align where I can help individuals solve their own personal and career problems through finding clarity, meaning, and motivation.
In conclusion, no, I ‘still don’t have a job’. But a traditional single-income ‘job’ isn’t necessarily what I’m after anymore. I’m not rushing into anything — I’m still playing with alternative daily life designs, trying different things on. I suppose this is appropriate for a child of the ‘just try it out!’ age.
I’d love to hear from you if you’re interested in coaching, self-improvement, or the world of finding more clarity and purpose. I’d be happy and honored to do a free coaching session with you, supporting you on your journey as I navigate mine.
